And This is My Joy...

I have always said I don't have a favorite child. My favorite child has always been the one that is sick, or needs me most at the time. They are also my favorite when we celebrate their individual achievements. Oh how proud I was of Drew this year when he graduated from elementary school. He is such a great kid. He is such a good person, morally clean and strong. A good leader, and of course so smart... so bright, definitely my favorite. Then when Julian was the student of the week and I had the opportunity to come into the classroom and tell everyone about him and show pictures. The night before I drafted a powerpoint presentation to show his class. It had love bugs all over the slides (that is what I have called him since birth, he has always been my love bug). That day when he giggled and was so shy and so sweet, my heart was so full. Yep, he is my favorite for sure. Ethan was my favorite as I watch him act in his school play and giggle and turn red as he had to propose marriage to his other cast mate with a straight face. He is so fun loving and kind. He is SO my favorite. Ava is my first daughter. I felt her presence before she was born. There was a day when I was around three and a half months pregnant that I literally felt her spirit enter my body. I knew she was a girl. Her spirit entered my body and stopped at my heart. She will remain their forever. Her sweet and sunny disposition and her princess attitude.(not diva, princess)oh how I look forward to our continued closeness and girlie memories. We will be close forever, she is my favorite. Payton and Sophie...oh my goodness I couldn't be more in love with two people. The way they talk, walk, laugh, get into mischief, dote on one another...oh my goodness I love it! They crack me up all day every day. Sophie is so sweet and soft. Payton is rough and tumble. He is all boy, she is all girl. He bugs her like brothers do, she bosses him around like sisters do. My favorites...oh my favorites.

Today, Anthony was to receive his patriarchal blessing. I got up at 6:30 and woke the boys up. We started this morning with a fast to make sure the moment was perfect and we were in tune. Clothes were already ready for the most part, I didn't want any distractions or typical feelings of wanting to kill my children before 9:00 church. I carried a song in my heart this morning as I do every sunday morning, however typically around 8:15 the notes turn sour. I am trying to get Anthony and Drew out the door to set up the church with their hair combed, teeth brushed, white shirts, ties that actually match their slacks, scriptures, and then off to pick up the brood of teens that go with them.
It was fathers day to day, and it and I wanted it to be special for my husband as well. Knowing that I couldn't fit in too much more before 9am, I made him a fathers day breakfast yesterday, home made HUGE cinnamon rolls. His gifts were ready. Card, DONE! Then the little ones dressed, everyones hair combed, shoes and socks, belts...you know the drill. Today, I came, I saw, I sang the happy notes. Then, we couldn't find our keys to the suburban. So, Satan the little devil, was trying to ruin my day. Well, instead of freaking out, we took the bmw without missing a beat. Even though we were seven in car that seats five, it was 8:56 and we we going to church even if we had to walk. Church was wonderful. We had three great speakers and the primary sang to the dads. Homeward bound to finish the preparations for the big turkey dinner to come. Anthony and Craig go home teaching. In a blink it was quarter after two and time to go to the patriarch's home. We walk outside to a beautiful, bright sunny day. The weather is perfect. I decided to sit in the back seat. This was Anthony's moment and I wanted to be the spectator. Craig had started the car and pushed play. "The Voice of the Children" by Kurt Bestor played in the background. As I listen to the words, my eyes filled with tears. We were about to go hear my child's special blessing from his Father in heaven. I was filled with emotion. Pride, Joy, Sadness that is all happening so fast. How did I get here so quickly? It was just yesterday I was going to Anthony's promotion ceremony from elementary. Now he is entering his senior year, with a mission shortly after. There is never enough time. I wipe away the tears and I look forward. I see my two white shoulders. One is my husband, one is my son. Both are men I love, both are my best friends. Both wear a white shirt and are worthy to do so. Both respect and hold an office of the priesthood. Both have my heart forever. I thought about my husband and what a great man he was and how lucky I am. I thought about what a great father's day present this must be for him. To see his son make good choices. His example of being a good man has been fruitful. Anthony has watched him respect his mother, to be tender, soft and to learn give and take. He has been a great provider and loved his children. Anthony has had the opportunity to watch his father and mirror these qualities. Ironically Craig's patriarchal blessing says that his children will mimic him. That has proved true on so many occasions. My husband is awesome.

We arrive at the beautiful and modest home of the patriarch. His home is warm and inviting. He is warm and inviting. His home feels just like the temple, clean and appropriately adorned with items that invite the spirit. He tells of us his wife and children with pride. He talks with us about blessings. He asks Anthony why he chose this moment to have his patriarchal blessing. Anthony states that he has thought about it for some time and at the last general conference, they encouraged the youth to get theirs and he also felt it was time. Anthony said that he felt as if this blessing would help him with his goals in sports, school and his mission. The patriarch responded positively. He asked a series of questions both personal and spiritual. Before he began the blessing, he asked Anthony again what he wanted from this blessing. Anthony without a second thought said, "I want to know what the Lord has in store for me in my life." Then he asked us individually why we loved each other. With tearful eyes we each expressed our love and gratitude for one another. The pride and admiration we had in Anthony..it was so incredible. The spirit was so strong. The patriarch shared so much with us. There is no question he is called of God. After 40 minutes of the visiting which felt like a gift in itself, the patriarch then laid his hands on my son's head and was a mouth piece for our Heavenly Father. Tears didn't stop flowing through the entire blessing. I was amazed. I felt my Heavenly Father's love for my earthly son. Sometimes we forget that our children are on loan. That they were His before they were ours. Today I was reminded that he is a gift, and I should return that gift better than I received it. I know the next year and a half will go by so quickly. I hope God can slow time down just a little so I can cherish all of these moments. I am excited for Anthony, and I know he has wonderful things in store for the future. He is a valiant servant of God. His commitment to his faith and his family are strong. I couldn't ask for a better older brother or example for the rest of my children.

Anthony...definitely my favorite :).